When it comes to big life choices, we often think about career moves, buying a house, or having kids. But let’s not forget that one of the most significant financial decisions you’ll ever make is choosing your partner. Seriously. Your relationship will influence everything from your joint financial goals to how you handle debt and savings.
The way you both approach money can make or break the long-term success of your finances together. Do they splurge without thinking twice, while you pinch pennies? Do you have wildly different attitudes toward savings and spending? Are you both on the same page when it comes to big-ticket purchases or investing in your future?
Having these conversations early—before you’re neck-deep in joint accounts or major life decisions—can set the tone for how you manage finances as a team.
Why You Need to Talk About Money and Your Joint Financial Goals.
Talking about money and financial decisions with your partner isn’t about arguing or making anyone feel bad about how they manage their cash. It’s about getting clear on each other’s financial values and habits, and finding common ground. The more you communicate about money, the less chance you have of running into surprises down the road.
Whether you’re discussing how to split the bills, who covers date nights, or how to save for some winter sun or a home, it’s important to have a plan. It helps you both avoid confusion, resentment, and potential financial problems in the future.
Here are a few things you should be chatting about:
- Splitting the bills: Do you share everything 50/50? Does one person contribute more based on their income? Or maybe you each handle different bills depending on who uses what the most? The key is finding a method that feels fair to both of you. I personally like the ratio split, where you split shared costs to a ratio that matches your income.
- Date nights: You both want to have fun, but who’s footing the bill? Card Roulette? Are you alternating who picks up the check? Or is there a budget in place for your social outings? Discussing these things upfront can avoid that awkward “who’s paying?” moment on date night. An idea here is to incorporate a ‘social fund’ into your budget, so you both put in a little extra each month and this can either be used for small outings throughout the month or saved over a period of time for something a little more spenny.
- Long-term goals: Are you planning to buy a house together? Or are you saving for a big trip or family vacation? Make sure you’re both aligned on how much you want to save and what your joint financial goals look like.
- Managing debt: It’s crucial to talk about any debts you’re carrying into the relationship, whether it’s student loans, credit card debt, or anything else (bad credit cough cough!!). No one wants to find out about a mountain of debt or adverse history they didn’t know existed after getting serious with someone. Honesty here is key.
Creating Your Joint Financial Goals.
Once you’ve had those important conversations, it’s time to put a plan into action. Set joint financial goals together, create a budget that works for both of you, and be sure you’re both contributing in a way that feels fair. Don’t forget to check in regularly about your financial progress—things change, and life happens, so it’s important to keep those lines of communication open.
Money Doesn’t Have to Be a Taboo Topic.
A lot of people shy away from talking about money because it can feel awkward or even intimidating. But the truth is, the more open and honest you are about your finances, the stronger your relationship will be. Avoiding the topic only makes it harder when things get tight or you run into problems.
So, whether it’s agreeing on how to split the bills, deciding who pays for date nights, or setting bigger joint financial goals for the future, having these conversations early on will help you both feel secure and supported in your relationship.
Ready to Get on the Same Page?
If you and your partner haven’t had that big money talk yet, there’s no time like the present. Grab a cuppa, sit down, and have an open discussion about your financial future. It’ll be awkward at first, but it’ll set the foundation for a healthier financial—and emotional—relationship.
So what next?
If you’re thinking about buying a house, but you’re not sure where to start or what financial decisions you need to make, drop me an email or head over to our Instagram for our latest news and tips.
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Emily Mays / Founder